I started poem-a-day for November using the Poetic Asides prompts. My plan was to write one long poem, a section each day based on the prompt for the day. I did very well at first. Writing every day. Posting most days, November 1-16. But I was writing a poem about my separation from my husband, and it was tough going. I didn’t stop writing because I couldn’t fit it in logistically. I didn’t stop writing because I lacked inspiration. I stopped writing because the subject matter started messing with me.
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She walks in beauty / Like the night. Maybe that’s why / Drivers can’t see her. (Curbside Haiku!)
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Readings and open mics have been getting me through the periods of 2011 in which I didn’t or couldn’t write. These last couple weeks are no exception. I get lots of inspiration from my fellow poets, and my peeps offer me unconditional support as this next phase of my life unfolds. Monday I was at Poets Speak Loud at McGeary’s in Albany, and if you can believe what you read on the internet, the kick ass hostess introduced me as “single girl in the big city.” Sounds exciting, right? Well, we’ll see. In a couple weeks, I’ll be “single girl” at a big holiday shindig for my office. We’ll see if the big girl can handle the solo gigs. It’s on the list of things that feels insurmountable.
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I will get back to the long poem. Life gets wonky sometimes, but poetry will sort it all out. Eventually. I just have to get brave enough for it.
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Speaking of getting brave enough, speaking of insurmountable, navigating the boys’emotions, along with my own, along with politics in a community where everyone used to be friends has been more painful than I ever imagined. And then there are things like this:
When I was home for Thanksgiving, the boys helped throw an early celebration for my dad’s 62nd birthday. There is joy, in this new life, yes? Just one year ago, just two years ago, three years ago even, I never would have believed he or my sister or myself could have attempted, let alone enjoyed, this kind of openness to happiness.
I can tell you that scene, that day, happened because my dad’s new lady had a great deal of courage and because my dad had a great deal of courage. In part, me and the boys were there as part of a feat of strength, as well. I don’t claim to know much about the “right” path to happiness, but I am trying to keep this fresh and accessible in my mind: Stay out of its way. Be open to it.
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That goes for poems, too.
