Housewife Tuesday

Capri’s mother (Capri senior) had one of the best quotes I have ever heard, “TV, what else is there?”  I have to agree.  I’m no intellectual.  The days of thinking I’m somehow high art are long since past.  Truth be told, as a fat child, TV was good to me.  It didn’t mock me.  It […]

By the time you are reading this I hope to be suffering a massive hangover from giant shots of tequila. I’ve decided to kick it old school. I am deciding this on Wednesday. God knows how I will feel tomorrow. The last week or so things have been strange. I got hit on Friday night.

In honor of me living so long (as I will be 45 next week), my sister will be telling the story: May 23rd, 1968 (the feast of the Assenection) was a beautiful morning.  It was spring. There was sunshine.  My mother didn’t have much of a garden that year considering she was as big as

I have never been on the receiving end of jealously before. It feels like shit. I want to start out by saying if I have ever made anyone of you feel like shit, I am sorry. With that said, what the fuck? I am really happy. My girl is happy and healthy. My bills are paid. The

A long standing tradition in my family is the birth story. Everybody has one. On Monday, my girl turns seven. Here is her story as told by me, her mother: I was so ready to have her. Her room was done. Diapers, wipes, breast pump, receiving blankets, crib and the rest of it. All ready

I am fortunate in many ways. I have a healthy kid, a good face, a house, a car and a job. I am very fortunate. I use the word fortunate because in my mind, fortunes are earned and therefore should be valued. Luck is too random for my taste and it always runs out. Another

So the crazy has been out of her cage for about a week. Why? The sad truth is that nothing is wrong. Capri always tells me to be careful talking about being happy. It goes in accordance with the way we were raised. Don’t let God hear you. He hates the proud. The Bathtub Mary Catholics have

Let me lay this out for you: I never routed for the princess. I always thought that they were like the girls in Catholic School that acted dumb or helpless to get what they wanted. I hated that mainly because I couldn’t get away with it. With that said, I had a daughter. So last week I

It is no joke that I am clearly not right in the head. With that said, here it is: I will not name names, situations or events leading up to what happened. I will say that my vag is back. That is all you need to know for now. Having not returned Capri’s calls for three days,

So here I am. Flooded basement lost my fight with the stupid ass’ that installed my new heating system, New Year, no man, and I’m still fat. I am in a surprisingly good mood these days. Why? You ask like you give a shit? My reason is this: TV. Trust me; I know I’m low brow. TV

I feel safe to say that December 2012 was cosmically bad. Tragedy, tears and people asking questions that will never be answered. It is a freaking scary world. Please realize that I realize that my problems are very small and petty. That being said, they are still my problems. This NYE was the first one I have spent

You thought I was going to talk about my weekend. No. The title is about a decision I made a few years ago. I was around 41, trying one diet after another and working out with a trainer that made dislocating my shoulder a monthly occurrence. I was sad in my relationship and as a mother. I felt