The next Albany Poets Presents (Tuesday, November 6, starting at 8:00PM) at Valentines will be an open mic with a bit of a twist.
Last month Mary Panza laid down the challenge…perform the best dramatic reading of the worst song lyrics and you win a featured reading at the Poets Speak Loud open mic at the Lark Tavern in the future, even if you have already featured.
I then gave an example of what we are looking for by reading the lyrics to the extremely famous song, Escape by Rupert Holmes:
I was tired of my lady, we’d been together too long.
Like a worn-out recording, of a favorite song.
So while she lay there sleeping, I read the paper in bed.
And in the personals column, there was this letter I read:“If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
If you’re not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain.
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.
I’m the lady you’ve looked for, write to me, and escape.”
If you do not have any bad lyrics with you on Novemeber 6, don’t worry, you can still read your own poetry through out the evening at the open mic.
Remember that the December edition of Albany Poets Presents is the Second Annual Airing of Grievances and Feats of Strength. Stay tuned for more details on the “most innovative, interesting, and irrelevant annual event at a poetry and spoken word open mic in upstate New York”.
“I’m in Love with My Car,” by Queen is a candidate. Pay close attention to the fourth verse, arguably the worst in the history of recorded sound:
The machine of a dream
Such a clean machine
With the pistons a pumpin
And the hub caps all gleam
When Im holdin your wheel
All I hear is your gear
When my hands on your grease gun
Oh its like a disease son
Im in love with my car
Gotta feel for my automobile
Get a grip on my boy racer rollbar
Such a thrill when your radials squeal
Told my girl Ill have to forget her
Rather buy me a new carburetor
So she made tracks sayin
This is the end now
Cars dont talk back
Theyre just four wheeled friends now
When Im holdin your wheel
All I hear is your gear
When Im cruisin in overdrive
Dont have to listen to no run of the mill talk jive
Im in love with my car
Gotta feel for my automobile
Im in love with my car
String back gloves in my automolove
That is awesome. I forgot how bad that song really was. I am going to have to dust off that CD and listen to it again.