Albany Poets Presents The Worst Song Lyrics In The World

Albany Poets Presents the Worst Song Lyrics in the World The next Albany Poets Presents (Tuesday, November 6, starting at 8:00PM) at Valentines will be an open mic with a bit of a twist. 

Last month Mary Panza laid down the challenge…perform the best dramatic reading of the worst song lyrics and you win a featured reading at the Poets Speak Loud open mic at the Lark Tavern in the future, even if you have already featured. 

I then gave an example of what we are looking for by reading the lyrics to the extremely famous song, Escape by Rupert Holmes:

I was tired of my lady, we’d been together too long.
Like a worn-out recording, of a favorite song.
So while she lay there sleeping, I read the paper in bed.
And in the personals column, there was this letter I read:

“If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
If you’re not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain.
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.
I’m the lady you’ve looked for, write to me, and escape.”

If you do not have any bad lyrics with you on Novemeber 6, don’t worry, you can still read your own poetry through out the evening at the open mic.

Remember that the December edition of Albany Poets Presents is the Second Annual Airing of Grievances and Feats of Strength.  Stay tuned for more details on the “most innovative, interesting, and irrelevant annual event at a poetry and spoken word open mic in upstate New York”.

2 thoughts on “Albany Poets Presents The Worst Song Lyrics In The World”

  1. “I’m in Love with My Car,” by Queen is a candidate. Pay close attention to the fourth verse, arguably the worst in the history of recorded sound:

    The machine of a dream
    Such a clean machine
    With the pistons a pumpin
    And the hub caps all gleam

    When Im holdin your wheel
    All I hear is your gear
    When my hands on your grease gun
    Oh its like a disease son

    Im in love with my car
    Gotta feel for my automobile
    Get a grip on my boy racer rollbar
    Such a thrill when your radials squeal

    Told my girl Ill have to forget her
    Rather buy me a new carburetor
    So she made tracks sayin
    This is the end now
    Cars dont talk back
    Theyre just four wheeled friends now

    When Im holdin your wheel
    All I hear is your gear
    When Im cruisin in overdrive
    Dont have to listen to no run of the mill talk jive

    Im in love with my car
    Gotta feel for my automobile
    Im in love with my car
    String back gloves in my automolove

  2. That is awesome. I forgot how bad that song really was. I am going to have to dust off that CD and listen to it again.

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