All the beautiful things
For my son
There’s a house at the end of the cul de sac, that’s nestled in the corner so snug,
cobblestones and vines making it like a storybook.
We walk by and I think how someday you may love that house the way I do.
I’ll show you the beauty of a song, and how it can Illustrate your emotions perfectly,
when you need to cry,
when you need to laugh.
One day your blue eyes will take in the ocean, it’s peaceful vastness,
and I’ll tell you how it can cure all your worries and heartaches,
but you won’t believe me until the day you feel it for yourself.
And the day will come that we outlive our dogs, and you will feel the grief that accompanies love.
I’ll hold your hand and tell you how the memories of them, your first unconditional friends, will always be beautiful to you.
You’ll learn the beauty and power of an afternoon nap, when your mind has turned off long enough to allow your body to recharge, and you wake up rested in the warmth of the early evening sun.
I’ll show you the beauty and comfort of a long hug.
And I’ll teach you that it’s okay to be weird,
So you can see the beauty in being weird too.
And one day, when your tiny hands can hold a mirror, you’ll see what I see.
How the most beautiful thing to me, will always be you.
The first 3 months and forever
On post partum anxiety
I need to get out of my head,
But how else will we stay safe?
My thoughts get so loud,
That I can’t see your face.
What if he trips,
And falls through the glass door?
But what if you leave,
When you can’t take anymore?
I’m sure if I see things ahead,
We can keep out of harms way.
When it comes to our health and happiness,
If there’s a will there’s a way.
I just won’t sleep,
So I can think everything through.
And I’ll just drink more coffee,
so I can triple check our baby proof.
Maybe I need a new pill,
Or some more time alone.
I just can’t stop worrying,
What if it breaks up our home?
I hope you’re on edge,
Because I feel it too.
Not a second goes by, when I haven’t mapped out the room.
Well there’s an exit right there,
In case of a gun.
And I’ll hold him like this,
So it’s easier to run.
Someone brought up a point about stair safety last week,
So I’ve hired a contractor to give everything a good tweak.
And if you think I didn’t check
his breathing six times,
Don’t worry I’m watching,
I’ll stay by him all night.
I know I can control everything,
I’ll just have to make myself sick.
Which is a small price to pay,
If I can eliminate all risk.
It’s not my fault,
I just can’t let things be.
But every day I’ll keep hoping
For some quiet in me.
For my baby
I heard you crying,
And I think you heard me too.
Your small hand reached out,
And mine reached out too.
You felt so warm and soft in my arms,
I know I must have felt warm to you too.
Your gentle breathing on my chest,
You must have been searching for my breath too.
I held you and my heart rate slowed down,
And your crying stopped too.
And it hit me.
For every time you needed me,
I hope you know that I needed you too.
Maria Weber is a new mom to a baby boy and a full-time healthcare worker. She loves spending time with her dogs, baby, and husband, cooking, laughing, shopping, and being cozy. Maria enjoys writing poetry as a hobby and creative outlet and hopes my words can bring comfort to others!