Beetle Song
The pitter patter of April rain
Like fingertips on window pains
Splash to earth in a puff of dust
To quench the thirst of a planets crust
Like the tiny flap of beetle wings
Acorns fall and the cicada sings
Grieve, grieve she calls to me
As if she knows what I have seen
Grieve, grieve the cicada calls
To beetles wings and raindrops’ fall
And acorn shells lie on the ground
As still as death, they make no sound
Yet shimmer bright with mornings dew
As if to say, “we’re broken too”
Perhaps the Sun will dry them all
Revive the vines on garden’s wall
But even still the brightest rays
Can’t bring back what’s gone away
Though beetles play as sunlight leaves
The cicadas whisper grieve, grieve, grieve
How Long Will I Bleed
How long must I bleed before you learn to resist making new wounds?
How many pieces will you take before your blood lust has been satisfied?
Dear lover
I have lived a long full life
And perhaps even a happy one
Before you came around
Before you made claim on my cheek bones
Or laid poison across my lips
and scorched my lungs
Bathed in the smoke of your careless addiction
I was once beautiful
I wasn’t just full of life, I was life
And light
And rolling hills of vibrant flesh
My hair used to flow in the breeze like mountain meadows
And I used to be loved
I used to be loved, even by you
And that’s what makes your cruel tricks hurt all the more,
because I once loved you too
The you I met so long ago
With footsteps across bare soil
Curiosity humming like a swarm of bees
Constantly learning and yearning
Growing and building
Doing everything you could so that we could grow together
And I’m not sure where we went wrong all those years ago
Or when that word lost its meaning
But now you leave scars on my flesh
like a labyrinth of deep-rooted agony
You drip poison in my veins day after day
new potions of hate mislabeled with discovery
And the things that once brought me joy now bring new consequences
Black eyes and bruises like finger paint across the surface of a canvas
I try to shake you off or spit in your face
Or fight back
But you never learn
And you never let go
So I’m trapped.
Here with you.
My little darlings
So if you’re reading this now
Or if you finally hear me
Then I hope it’s not too late to save us
To save the planet your people first learned to live on
The earth that has given you so much
Because when I am gone,
Where will you go?
And how long will I have to bleed,
Before it’s too late?
Is This Where You Keep Your Skeleton Keys?
I need to understand how you smile the way that you do
How you laugh the way you do
how you unlock my golden gates in ways that no one else could
The hidden trap doors I forgot I had built when I was in high school
The wooden horse where I hid all my insecurities
And where do you hide your skeleton keys?
Your magic touch
Your clever spell
Or why can’t I find it?
Why can’t anyone find them?
Because I know they are looking
How could anyone not look?
How do the tides not rise at the edges of your jaw?
How do the birds not stop to watch when you walk by?
And where do you hide your skeleton keys?
Your lucky charm that make everyone love you
And can I hold you?
I mean them?
Can I hold your skeleton keys?
Or those skeletal hands
Even if only for a moment
Can you show me the cold metal kiss on my skin?
The fiery ice of my mind when you say how lovely you find my eyes
And I want to find those skeleton keys
In your dresser? Full of a fashion taste far superior to mine
Or maybe in your hair? Just an excuse to run my hands through it
Or in your bed? Just so I can imagine waking up there
But I imagine they’re still in your closet
Scratching at the walls
Waiting for you to let them out
But I can’t wait here for it to open
So instead, I will search under your bed where all forgotten things lie
And cross my heart three times and pray I won’t find myself down there
Tucked behind a dust bunny
Where the hell did you put those skeleton keys?!
I will run to the mirror to look for them inside,
and this time I pray that I will see us both.
And that your hand will be on my shoulder
And I will look in your eyes
Those beautiful eyes
And realize
I have no idea what I was looking for.
Nathan Smith has been writing for 10 years, since he was a high school student in rural Pennsylvania, but only decided to start sharing his work when he moved to New York in 2020. He has been published in literary magazines such as “Baily’s Beads” and “Resonance” and won first place in the McKinney Writing Contest at RPI in 2023 and 2024, as well as in the Talk Without Borders Poetry Contest. He has featured at open mics such as “Poetic Vibe”, “CAPS”, and others, as well as hosting his own open mic in 2023 called “Empowered by Poetry”. He published his first book “Cotton Candy Sun” in 2022 and hopes to publish a second in the future.
